Saturday, July 16, 2011

Didn't I Say I Wouldn't Worry?

Yup, I'm pretty sure I had decided just to ride the high for as long as I could. But, there I was yesterday evening, getting ready for work, worrying. I realized this time is different because now I know I have MTHFR. So I did a google search for MTHFR and pregnancy and saw all these people posting about m/c. It made me really worried about only being on the folgard and aspirin. My RE doesn't think that I'll need heparin or lovenox, but I'd almost rather play it safe, and do more. My goal...graduate from my RE to a high risk OB. I'll have to insist on going to one of those since my regular OB/GYN didn't even know what MTHFR is. Then, that doctor will be able to start me on whatever he or she thinks is necessary and will help me have a healthy live birth. All this, mind you, before I have even had my second beta. Am I jumping ahead of myself? Maybe, but if there is one thing navigating through the land of IF has taught me, hope for the best and plan for the worst. All this madness of course started because I woke up early due to a bad dream I was having. In my dream I was sitting on the toilet and looked down to see a bowl full of bright red, bloody water. I can't help but take vivid dreams as omens, since so many of them have come true. But damn it, not that one. And now, having been up for around 18 hours, delirium sets in and I must go to bed, where I will hopefully dream of a big baby bump.

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