Thursday, May 5, 2011

Lists, Announcements and Odd Thoughts

Today I'm filled with a morbidity that is slanting my perspective for the better and worse.

Announcement #1: Chromosome analysis results came back as a healthy male. This isn't the news we were hoping for. This means I have to go into my PMD today and BEG them to PLEASE have mercy on my pocketbook and order the $865 worth of tests for recurrent pregnancy loss and Ashkenazi panel.

Announcement #2: I'm thinking of applying for a different job within my hospital. My main concern is that I would be working days, and would need to miss work for appointments. I currently work nights and miss out on sleep rather than work for appointments. IF may keep me from professional dreams as well. 

Odd thought #1: I'm now hoping for a blood disorder so all I have to do is go on Lovenox. What kind of reality am I living in?

Odd thought #2: Maybe I lost this baby boy because it was Passover, and god took my first "born" son. I should have put lamb's blood on my door. I tell this to my RE, and luckily he laughs.

Odd thought #3: When praying, or making a specific and make clauses. It was not enough to wish/pray to be pregnant. That was exactly what I got. I have learned that what I will now wish/pray for is for a healthy pregnancy, a healthy and normal delivery, and a healthy full term baby. 

List #1: Qualities that lead to multiple healthy pregnancies according to personal observation...
Use of methamphetamine
Having difficulty supporting yourself and family financially
Having no savings or ability to support yourself or family in case of high risk pregnancy
Having little to no education
Being between the age of 12 and 21
Maintaining a diet of fast food, processed foods, and large amounts of caffeine

List #2:  Pregnancy Announcements on FB
Amber- due by the end of the week, updates on pregnancy about 3-6 times per day. Lost her first baby, and get announcements about that multiple times daily. 
Bethany- Announced pregnancy this week with a photo of her HPT followed by the comment to watch for the full video of her delivery in December. 
Dana- Pregnant with twins. Not sure why your DW thought it would make me feel better to tell me you went through IVF. Like I care how people get pregnant. 
Alicia- Pregnant and enjoying herself in Australia.
Halcy- 20 weeks pregnant, showing off her baby bump and announcing she is grateful for God's gift. 
Maggie- Her daughter has felt her baby girl kick for the first time. 
Jaymie- Pregnant with a little girl. Comes to work with giant cups of coffee, talks about loving maternity pants. 
Jamie- Pregnant with twin boys, bored because she's off work. 
Kim- Due in September. Married less than a year, and feeling blessed. 
Judith- Baby born the day I had my D&C.
April- Baby born the week I had my D&C. Asked me for info on IUI years ago when she told me she planned on starting to try in about a year or so. 


  1. I am so sorry you have more questions than answers at this point. I hope they are able to order the panel for you and give you some more answers. I had to chuckle over your list of qualities that lead to successful pregnancies. I totally feel that way all day everyday. It sucks and it isn't fair. Wishing you all the best.

  2. ughs to the list of FB announcements. I am much weaker than you and have signed of FB for good. Thanks for making me laugh with your list at what makes a great parent.

  3. So sorry that you're still searching for answers. And I'm so sorry for the loss of your baby boy. Does it make it harder knowing th sex?

    Take care sweetie.

  4. @Marianne- It was hard to find out that it was a boy. But, if it had been a girl, I think I would be saying the same thing. It just made it more real. I now feel like I lost a baby boy, not just a baby.