Friday, May 20, 2011

The Infamous Facebook

The idea of a personal life, and privacy is somewhat antiquated by today's standards. People post every little thought and event on twitter and facebook. Now that everyone has a cell phone, photos of the mundane, the embarrassing, and the miraculous are captured and shared almost instantly. I've seen posts about vacuum cleaners, landscaping, car accidents, new jobs, food critiques, vacation plans, paranoid ramblings, being sick, birthdays, births, deaths, weddings, parties, getting drunk, getting laid, being board, having fun, having fun while on a date etc. I've seen photos of babies, children, cars, dinner, drunken escapades, pregnancy tests, ultrasounds, animals, houses, bathtubs etc. You get the point. Board stay at home mothers can post 10 times a day photos of their children and every thought that passes through their heads. Pregnant friends posts weekly updates explaining the development of their fetus. If they can be open about pregnancy, family, and their love for tapioca pudding, than why must I keep quiet about IF?

Over the years I have posted little things about my IF. Mostly things that hint at it, but do not outright say "I'm infertile" or "I'm in the middle of a cycle of IVF" or "I just found out this pregnancy isn't viable" Instead I've posted about my butt being sore, or not being able to stop crying. In the beginning, I remember posting about how expensive sperm was. Truthfully, I'm a little done with the silence. I'm not ashamed about anything we've done or are doing. I'm not embarrassed of IF. But I feel like society tells me to be hushed, that it's not something people want to hear about, or be burdened with. And today, I've decided I've had enough. People on my message board talk about coming out IF. My thought on that, if I  live my life out of the closet in a society that still discriminates against gays, then why not be open and "out" about IF?

So today I posted "For many of my friends, happy and exciting news is finding out they are pregnant, finding out if it's a boy or girl, and having their baby. For me, exciting happy news is finding out I have MTHFR with two copies of the gene C677T, which may explain why it's been two years of trying, with one chemical pregnancy, and one miscarriage. So for this blessing, I give thanks." 

Feeling sassy today,

1 comment:

  1. Beautifully put! I feel very encouraged to do the same and come out of hiding from my dark infertile corner and embrace the healing it will bring to admit what has been a huge part of my life for 3 years.