Only five more shifts in the ER and then I start my new job. I AM SO EXCITED!!! I keep thinking about how good it will feel not to have to flip flop back and forth between nights and days, about sleeping while it's dark, about enjoying the day! I keep thinking about being happy again. I've felt trapped for so long...completely stuck in my situation and unable to change anything, or achieve any of my goals. I can't move out of California, I can't go back to school for my FNP degree, I can't have a baby, and for a long time I couldn't find another job. Well, one change out of all those is a great start. And, even though every woman with infertility hates when someone tells them to "just relax and you'll get pregnant"... I can't help but hold out some hope that relaxing and de-stressing will be the solution to our IF problem. And if not...at least I'll be happy in one more aspect of my life than I was before.
And the countdown continues!