Monday, August 22, 2011

I Don't Want To Make Lemonade

My dad has always loved the cliched quote "when life gives you lemons, make lemonade." He even used it in his speech at my Bat Mitzvah when I was 13. But what happens when life gives you lemons, you try and make lemonade, the lemons are rotten and you have cuts on your hands? What then?

Am I stuck in a dark place? Absolutely. Do I feel angry? Yes. Am I feeling a little depressed? Probably. Do I feel sorry for myself? Sure. Do I feel like giving up? A little.

I keep having flashes of images that represent the way I feel. I see myself repeatedly walking into a glass door or reaching into a jar and getting shocked. Or with a plug getting yanked open, deflating and falling to the floor. I'm knelt down on my knees, arms up in the air cursing the heavens, tears streaming down my face.

1 comment:

  1. I hate that we are supposed to make lemonade out of lemons, it just never seems to work out in the land of IF. I feel like I'm being dangled a carrot in front of my nose, and I try relentlessly to catch it, but never do. I feel like getting pregnant is so close I can almost feel it, but it is always out of reach. It's so defeating. I find just taking it one day at a time seems to help, but in truth, some days are just way harder than others. I hope you get your happy ending soon=)